no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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