She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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