I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
