It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize