I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize