is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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