I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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