She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
