if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
