I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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