thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
