its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
