You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
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Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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