and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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