she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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