its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
