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• (509): View more from Washington

  This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude. im stealing that.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm okay with that.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (660): View more from Missouri

  I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?

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• (646): View more from New York

  wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.

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