so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?