Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.