Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity

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  (586): Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity http://tfl.nu/negt
  Replies (1) Good night (1460) Bad night (610)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  this is mike. we're done.

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  (917): I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike (1-917): this is mike. we're done. http://tfl.nu/abns
  Replies (21) Good night (884) Bad night (2993)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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  (724): You kept referring to your penis as "this guy." http://tfl.nu/osjv
  Replies (18) Good night (5235) Bad night (1368)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.

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  (205): the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome. http://tfl.nu/nwqx
  Replies (13) Good night (2397) Bad night (1183)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.

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  (414): He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after. http://tfl.nu/s41l
  Replies (8) Good night (3661) Bad night (829)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.

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  (705): What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out. http://tfl.nu/9o89
  Replies (5) Good night (1002) Bad night (2195)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.

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  (903): Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week. http://tfl.nu/2lhm
  Replies (18) Good night (1203) Bad night (2649)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?

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  (423): I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I? http://tfl.nu/fiqy
  Replies (5) Good night (2724) Bad night (1162)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.

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  (203): She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good. http://tfl.nu/fc7j
  Replies (1) Good night (776) Bad night (1335)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.

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  (306): I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text. http://tfl.nu/e61q
  Replies (8) Good night (3186) Bad night (711)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.

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  (928): I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad. http://tfl.nu/59qz
  Replies (26) Good night (889) Bad night (1802)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about

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  (505): Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about http://tfl.nu/ldbx
  Replies (5) Good night (1258) Bad night (662)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.

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  (412): Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab. http://tfl.nu/yqci
  Replies (5) Good night (1311) Bad night (662)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.

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  (832): He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room. http://tfl.nu/v57f
  Replies (0) Good night (331) Bad night (395)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole

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  (757): Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole http://tfl.nu/7d8z
  Replies (2) Good night (163) Bad night (612)

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