she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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