Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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