I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
