I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
