At least make sure they are 18
Why
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
