Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
