you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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