The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
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Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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