I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
