i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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