She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
