Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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