Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize