My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
