Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
