Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
