I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
