I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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