He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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