Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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