sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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