3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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