You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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