so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
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at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
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I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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