Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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