So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
