Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
