I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
