Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
