its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
