when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
