Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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