Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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