we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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