man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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