How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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