You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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