brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize