Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize