Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
