Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize